As I have gotten older, I have become more emotional about almost anything. Today, we saw a video about the network of schools I work for and I almost teared up. (Fortunately, I had watched it prior to the public showing and actually shed several tears, so I was prepared to hold them in this time.)
The school does a pinning ceremony where they "officially" welcome each child into their new grade at the start of each school year. Today was the day for that.
I pinned the students in my Advisory (kind of like homeroom), hugged the ones that asked for a hug and then went to the back of the auditorium to find one of my other advisees.
She has been in in-school suspension the last two days and was not allowed to be a part of the pinning ceremony with the other girls.
When I went to the back row of the auditorium, I pinned her and told her welcome to the 8th grade and that she is going to be like a butterfly just like the pin on her lapel.
I didn't think too much of it, but later today, the Dean of Students came to me to tell me that the girl was so excited and proud that I had sought her out even though she was in the back of the auditorium and pinned her.
When the Dean told me this, I almost cried. Of course, I had to wear the mask of calmness and not let her know that it was touching me so, but I did tell her that I was really proud of the student and thankful that she shared that story with me.
I think about it now and how proud she was and how I want her to feel proud of herself so that she stops starting trouble that it makes me almost teary-eyed even writing this.
Being a teacher has some really great moments.
05 October 2012
04 October 2012
I've become a (slightly) terrified teacher
When I saw Tim Gunn the other night, one of the things he talked about was how he was offered a really great job with a company after he had started Project Runway and after he had already been on the administrative board with Parsons.
He told the man offering him the job that he couldn't take it because he was too busy with the show and with the release of his first book. The man offering him the job said that he could keep the job open for him for after the show ends and after he is settled down a bit.
At that point, Gunn had to admit to the man that the real reason he could not take the job was because he was absolutely terrified of taking on the role.
The man told him that he would not be offering him the job if he was not going to be terrified.
Gunn went on to talk about how he is still slightly terrified at his jobs and when he does various things in his life.
If you had asked me a couple years ago - really, even last year - if there were moments when I teach that I am terrified, I would say, "Hell, no!"
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| My classroom. I finally have windows (4 big ones) and they are bigger than 8" wide!! |
But when he talked about this, I realized that there have been moments this school year when I have been standing in the hall during passing time and been a bit nervous about the coming class, about what I was going to be doing and if it would work.
I have never experienced this.
As I sat smiling as I listened to the great words of Tim Gunn (he said he was "ebullient"- how cool is his vocabulary?!), I mulled over why I am nervous this year of my teaching.
It is partly because I am teaching in a new state, partly because I am teaching in a school unlike any I have been in, partly because I am teaching the first group in the school that will take a state exam in social studies, and mostly because I am really challenging myself because of these things.
I have never spent so much time prepping for classes - even in my first year of teaching. I have never felt like I really understood and could make the students understand what they are doing and why.
I have always been able to help students understand content - even had many each year tell me that my class is the first time they have passed social studies/history. But this is different.
All this, and still make sure the delivery of content is interesting and not just me talking at the students. I am really trying to make sure that everything is purposeful and that everything is working toward the mastery of standards and content.
And that is a bit terrifying.
After almost a decade of teaching, it is ok for me to be a little nervous about my lessons and for me to work really hard on lessons.
I am still getting better.
03 October 2012
When you look good, they pay good?
I'm still really stoked that I got to see, meet, and take pictures with Tim Gunn. He was really amazing.
One of the things he talked about that really resonated with me was his talk on being in NYC. He moved here from DC in the early 80s. He talked about how he got used to the way people dress and now can walk down the streets seeing everything, yet seeing nothing at the same time.
Gunn mentioned that he does not like telling people what to wear and what not to wear because he does not know their life situation - what they do, where they work, what they are comfortable in, what they are not comfortable in, how they move around, etc. I thought that was an awesome thing to say. I hate when people talk about an "it" piece because there is no piece that works for everyone's life.
He also said that you may see someone dressed like a circus clown, because maybe they are a circus clown! He was so matter of fact with that statement that it really stuck with me.
We don't know what others are doing or going through, so we shouldn't judge their appearances.
He went on for a while about how people in NYC are able to wear what they want - you can hide in the city or you can be yourself no matter what that is.
This is so true. In the short month plus since I have been here, I have already found items of clothing that I have seen others in that are totally me - that I would buy if and when I finally have some disposable income.
There are times when I purposely try to stand out in the crowds as I walk - maybe a statement piece of jewelry, my hair done in a wild-natural manner, a loud pair of tights, etc. Other times, I just want to walk to the train without someone asking me questions or commenting on how they think I look like I should model, or that they love my hair, or that they like my athletic (really? not much anymore) build.
On those days, my walk is slightly different, less confident strutting and more just walking. I just want to blend in with the crowd.
I always want to look good, though.
I don't like Deion Sanders, the football player, but I heard him say something that has stuck in my head.
When I look good (or at least feel like I look good), I feel good. I love dressing in ways that make me feel confident.
One of the things he talked about that really resonated with me was his talk on being in NYC. He moved here from DC in the early 80s. He talked about how he got used to the way people dress and now can walk down the streets seeing everything, yet seeing nothing at the same time.
Gunn mentioned that he does not like telling people what to wear and what not to wear because he does not know their life situation - what they do, where they work, what they are comfortable in, what they are not comfortable in, how they move around, etc. I thought that was an awesome thing to say. I hate when people talk about an "it" piece because there is no piece that works for everyone's life.
He also said that you may see someone dressed like a circus clown, because maybe they are a circus clown! He was so matter of fact with that statement that it really stuck with me.
We don't know what others are doing or going through, so we shouldn't judge their appearances.
He went on for a while about how people in NYC are able to wear what they want - you can hide in the city or you can be yourself no matter what that is.
This is so true. In the short month plus since I have been here, I have already found items of clothing that I have seen others in that are totally me - that I would buy if and when I finally have some disposable income.
 |
| Took this shot one day alone on the subway. Some days I just want to blend in when it is crowded, other days I want to stand out. |
There are times when I purposely try to stand out in the crowds as I walk - maybe a statement piece of jewelry, my hair done in a wild-natural manner, a loud pair of tights, etc. Other times, I just want to walk to the train without someone asking me questions or commenting on how they think I look like I should model, or that they love my hair, or that they like my athletic (really? not much anymore) build.
On those days, my walk is slightly different, less confident strutting and more just walking. I just want to blend in with the crowd.
I always want to look good, though.
I don't like Deion Sanders, the football player, but I heard him say something that has stuck in my head.
When you look good,My pay is not based on how I play (teach, or do whatever), but I do find that on days when I dress better, I feel better. Yesterday, I knew that it was going to be a tough day since I was tired from a late night with Tim Gunn, so I pulled out a cute outfit for work. I felt better just putting it on.
you feel good,
when you feel good,
you play good,
when you play good,
they pay good.
When I look good (or at least feel like I look good), I feel good. I love dressing in ways that make me feel confident.
02 October 2012
Last night, I made it work
Ordinarily, I am pretty good at keeping a straight face.
Last night was a very big exception.
Last night... I heard, saw, met, briefly spoke with Tim Gunn.
He is such an amazing person!
I cannot even begin to express my awe for this man. I think he is super cute and love how he tells people to "make it work" on Project Runway. I love how he helps the cast members without putting them down, I love how he is just at peace with himself.
Last night, I was so giddy to hear him speak at the 92nd Street Y that I was literally smiling the entire time he was talking with Bud Mishkin.
I couldn't stop.
I love his large vocabulary (which makes me want to get a thesaurus and learn at least a new word each month - if not more). I love that he said that he is "a sycophant of the written word," - that he says he gets emotional just thinking of different passages from some of his favorite books. I love that when the group of lady teacher-colleagues I was with and I met him he talked about how he is kind of ashamed of having Webster's Dictionary downloaded (since it is not the best of the best of dictionaries), and that he is afraid to look at the 800+ words that have been added to the dictionary.
I love that he wrote a detailed book on the history of fashion items in your closet. I read through a lot of the sections and love his comedic sense.
He told stories of Project Runway and judge deliberations, of his disgust that Mondo did not win his season. He told stories of his father, of his mother, of his time at Woodstock, of where he got the suit he was wearing. He was friendly the entire time... even as we were getting our books signed after 11.
I love that we both have a hate for capri pants. They are so unattractive on most women (and men) that wear them. He goes into detail about them in the book, too. It is hilarious and they are hideous!
It was a late night - didn't get home until after 11:30 - but well worth the lack of sleep for the night.
Last night was a very big exception.
Last night... I heard, saw, met, briefly spoke with Tim Gunn.
He is such an amazing person!
I cannot even begin to express my awe for this man. I think he is super cute and love how he tells people to "make it work" on Project Runway. I love how he helps the cast members without putting them down, I love how he is just at peace with himself.
Last night, I was so giddy to hear him speak at the 92nd Street Y that I was literally smiling the entire time he was talking with Bud Mishkin.
I couldn't stop.
I love his large vocabulary (which makes me want to get a thesaurus and learn at least a new word each month - if not more). I love that he said that he is "a sycophant of the written word," - that he says he gets emotional just thinking of different passages from some of his favorite books. I love that when the group of lady teacher-colleagues I was with and I met him he talked about how he is kind of ashamed of having Webster's Dictionary downloaded (since it is not the best of the best of dictionaries), and that he is afraid to look at the 800+ words that have been added to the dictionary.
I love that he wrote a detailed book on the history of fashion items in your closet. I read through a lot of the sections and love his comedic sense.
He told stories of Project Runway and judge deliberations, of his disgust that Mondo did not win his season. He told stories of his father, of his mother, of his time at Woodstock, of where he got the suit he was wearing. He was friendly the entire time... even as we were getting our books signed after 11.
I love that we both have a hate for capri pants. They are so unattractive on most women (and men) that wear them. He goes into detail about them in the book, too. It is hilarious and they are hideous!
It was a late night - didn't get home until after 11:30 - but well worth the lack of sleep for the night.
01 October 2012
I wear the mask that grins and lies
Even though I am busy, I have decided to put myself back into the blogging every day mode. I made it all the way into the last part of August doing so and have dropped off since then only posting a few times a week.
To help me, I have signed up for NaBloPoMo October. The theme for the month is masks and today's prompt was, "When you saw the word mask, was your first interpretation protection, covering up, persona, or performance?"
When I hear the word mask I always think of the Paul Laurence Dunbar poem, "We Wear the mask".
The poem was published in the late 1800s by him (an African American - or Negro as I think we were called at the time). It is all about the struggles of people and how they tend to hide them from others. I first read it back in high school and have loved it and really felt it since then at various points in my life and during different situations.
That is what I do on so many occasions - hide what is really going on and put on a happy, or just a straight face that others can't read.
All this to say that my first impression after reading the theme for the month of October with BlogHer was hiding imperfections, protecting the image (I think) I have in the eyes of others, and making sure I always seem in control of situations.
To help me, I have signed up for NaBloPoMo October. The theme for the month is masks and today's prompt was, "When you saw the word mask, was your first interpretation protection, covering up, persona, or performance?"
When I hear the word mask I always think of the Paul Laurence Dunbar poem, "We Wear the mask".
The poem was published in the late 1800s by him (an African American - or Negro as I think we were called at the time). It is all about the struggles of people and how they tend to hide them from others. I first read it back in high school and have loved it and really felt it since then at various points in my life and during different situations.
We Wear the MaskWe wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes, --
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our criesI love it!
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
That is what I do on so many occasions - hide what is really going on and put on a happy, or just a straight face that others can't read.
All this to say that my first impression after reading the theme for the month of October with BlogHer was hiding imperfections, protecting the image (I think) I have in the eyes of others, and making sure I always seem in control of situations.
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