Copy that?!

Quick rant:

I have to be at school for zero period (before school class) every day but Friday. It kills me.  I love the class, enjoy the students and the coteachers, but getting up that early and then teaching a full day is tough.  I have literally had days when I want to stay on the subway an extra stop just so I miss mine and may "accidentally" miss the class.

I have also had a day when I suddenly started crying during my walk from the subway to the school because I started thinking about how much I dislike getting to school early and having to still teach a full load of classes and than have teacher meetings or an additional (mandatory) student help session at the end of the day.

Today, was a day the students took a Regents exam so there was no zero period day.

So wonderful!!!

Words cannot express my joy knowing that today I did not have to get up early to teach that class!

I got to sleep a little later, eat breakfast, leave for work with my boif, and just be relaxed in the morning.

One benefit of getting to school for zero period is that I am always the first person to get to one of the two copy machines for teacher use.  I can copy to my hearts content until it is time to get to class.

Because I knew that today was a late arrival day for me, I made all my copies yesterday. However, after grading a class's work last night, I decided that I wanted to print their progress reports so they could see their current grades.  (Yes, NYC is still in school and won't be finished until June 26 - that is not a typo.  June 26)

I got to school 20 minutes before school started (instead of an hour and a half early like zero period days) and went to the copy room to print my 26 single-sided copies.

When I got there, both machines were in use and one teacher was almost finished with one of the machines.

Before I could print my items, the teacher that was on the machine what was nowhere near finished said that she was about to start copying a shit-load of stuff on the other machine, too.

I almost screamed at her.  How can you use BOTH machines in the copy room?  I asked her fairly calmly, but in my head I was screaming.  This made absolutely no sense to me.

There are two copiers for 30+ staff.  You can't gank both of them to make your last minute copies to do something you have known about for over a week.  You also shouldn't be making hundreds of copies early in the morning that you need them anyway -- copiers jam and you may not get what you are trying to get copied.

I'm just saying.  That's what preps and lunch and after school are for.

She said that since she got to school earlier, she had the right to take up both machines.

I said that I also had the right to get ready for my first period class and to be able to print 26 pages.

She said something jokingly to me and pushed my head a bit. I'm not sure what she said because I not only was pissed about the copies, but also don't like my head being touched, let alone pushed - and, I'm a strong son-of-a-gun, but this one does not know her strength.  I restrained myself from putting a hand on her - it was still before 8:15am, and I like getting paid for work.

She allowed me to get in on one of the machines after a little while and I finally got to print my reports before the start of the day, but was still kind of pissed about the whole situation.

Not a good start to my Tuesday.

I tried to go back to this motto about good ish and breathe easy.

Getting my replacement ink cartridge in the mail today makes it easier to breathe it all out since I will be able to make more copies at home again.

And it is only Tuesday, despite my thinking it feels as though at least half a week has passed since Sunday and that it could be Thursday...

My (no longer) secret love affair

I used to be the person that made fun of this stuff when I saw women modeling them in infomercials.  I used to think that people who wore them must be lazy and insane.

Jeggings.

I never understood the idea.  Why not just wear tights?  Or just wear skinny jeans?

Now, I am (almost no longer ashamed to admit that I am) a convert.

Two weeks ago, I became the owner of multiple pairs of jeggings.

I was walking through Uniqlo one day a few weeks ago and wanted so bad to find something that I could wear, something springy, something to bring me into the warmer weather that we seemed to be moving into, yet was quickly taken away from us here in NYC.

I couldn't see any tops I really liked and pants of the world don't fit my body frame, so I always bypass those.

I got to the back of the store, where it was surprisingly empty.  I saw a wall full of beautiful colors.  I walked closer and touched them and they felt so incredibly soft for pants.  I remembered that Uniqlo alters hems and waists for free, so I decided to try on a few pair.  I was hesitant because, even with the hope of alterations, I can never find a pair that a tailor can alter; usually there is too much fabric to take in at the waist if the thighs actually fit.  Former track sprinter problems, right?

Anyway, something made me grab a few pairs in a few different flavours and a few different sizes and head to the dressing room. 

I fell in love with what may be my most hated item of clothing from an informercial (2nd only to the Snuggie).

Me and my jeggings

The pants fit my whole lower body.  There was no gaping.  They were not too tight on my thighs.  They had really cool colours.  They were reasonably priced.

It was a spring-time miracle.

I admit it - I love jeggings - though I don't fully have to call them that since instead of that bastardized name, Uniqlo calls them "legging pants", not jeggings.

I don't know why I doubted them, and the people who wear them, for so long. 

These pants are the best of two worlds.  I have always loved athletic tights - I would live in those if I didn't think they were inappropriate for anywhere besides a place to workout and the path to get to that place to workout.  And sometimes the grocery store on the way home from working out.  A good pair of athletic tights in the right thickness and a funky pattern are so incredibly amazing!!

Jeans are also my fave.  There had previously been no other pant I could wear to any occasion beside jeans.  These leggings have back pockets like regular jeans which is so awesome.  And belt loops in case they start to gape as I wash them over and over again.  I can dress them up or down - they are my new go to pant.

Now, I have four new loves of my wardrobe life.  Purple, white (which I'm pretty sure I will somehow stain during my first wear), and two pairs of the black. Two black because I know I will wear out, or fade out the first pair through washing.  Two will allow me to save a fresh new black pair for when that happens.

I will no longer dis legging pant wearers, and I hope you all won't dis me.

Parent of the year?

I really can't understand why this was seen as acceptable by the adults who are involved with this child.

What has gone wrong in my life?!?!

The other day as I was speeding around town in my Mini Cooper, I did something unthinkable.  Something I almost don't want to admit.  Something that made me question my sanity, my humanity, and made me use language I've never before spoken.

I was in StL for the 2nd leg of my much needed and anticipated Spring Break.  I had left Target after returning a purchase that after leaving the store initially, I hated and would have returned right away had it not been almost closing time and the Customer Service area had been opened.

I forgot I'd paid with cash and was really excited to go spend that returned money on greasy, delicious StL Chinese food.

So excited that while pulling out of the massive, busy parking lot, I did the unthinkable.  Something that after publishing this post, I will never speak of again.  Something that made me wish Papa Pope, of Scandal fame, was with me to give me a speech about just how fed up with me he had become and how he was going to ship me off or lock me up some place so that I could clear my thoughts.

The weather was beautiful - mid 70s, sunny - so I had the sunroofs opened and the windows down.  I've missed radio since I tend to listen to my downloaded music or the crazies around me during my NYC commutes, so I was blaring various stations throughout my stay in Missouri.  Top 40, Hip Hop, R&B, Rock, NPR, whatever suited my ears, I could sing along to, or was interesting.

Something seemed to happen to my ears as I anticipated my Chinese food and enjoyed the weather.

A song came on the radio and I not only listened to it, I sang along with the lyrics. I seemed to actually enjoy it.  I sang along and even started to slightly dance as I drove onto the highway.

When I got to the next exit, I finally snapped out of my seeming trance and realized what a horrible thing I had done.  I turned the radio completely off.  I pulled off at the exit and pulled into the nearest parking space so I could really contemplate what I had done.

As I sat there, off of Bellvue, I started to wonder what had gone wrong in my life.  How could I have seriously just been singing along to a Puffy/Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy/Sean Combs song?

I'm not going to slam his production or money making abilities, I won't even talk bad about those ridiculous wife-beater shirts he made that people actually bought.  But his ability to rock a mike is more than shitty -- it hurts my ears.  Ordinarily.  Of course, there are songs when he did a collabo with Biggie that I can tolerate, but the song I was jamming to was his ode to Biggie after his death. It is so horrible.  And somehow, I seemed to know much of the lyrics and to momentarily enjoy it.

I sat in that parking space for close to 5 minutes trying to figure out my life. I questioned if the sun from the sunroof may have altered my capacity to distinguish good music from the really shitty.  I wondered if maybe time away from radio and my quest to not complain as much in my life made me unable to discern a valid rapper from a Diddy.

I had no answers, which led me to fall on a term I have never thought or used in my life.  A term, which, given the present circumstances, seemed to suit me well.  Ne'er-do-well.

If I have become a person who cannot only tolerate Puff Daddy, but also sings along with his music, with the windows down for all to hear, and even sing the same freaking song in my head later in the day, I must have become a ne'er-do-well.

I've never used or thought that term in my life, but it popped into my head when I was contemplating where my life has gone wrong that made me want to sing along with Diddy.  I'm pretty sure my actions fall into the category.

I will never speak of my musical slip up again.  And I hope that no one holds it against me because all I will do is deny, deny, deny.

Instead of dwelling on this dark patch of my life, I will strive to move beyond being a ne'er-do-well. I will strive to better my life so that I never fall to such low depths again.

Do people consume their monthly flow?!?

Sometimes 6th grade students smell so bad they need to have a nurse and a counselor and teachers come in to have hygiene talks with them.  Sometimes a student in said talk asks if you are supposed to eat or drink your menstrual fluid.

Back to blogging with pictures

I'm easing my way back into blogging.

It's been almost 6 months.  I haven't even allowed myself to read other blogs because I didn't want to get sucked into those again if I was not going to be keeping up with mine. I know, doesn't quite make sense, but that was my rule.

I have missed reading about all of you out there and am not even sure if I will understand all that you write now since I have missed out on a huge chunk of your blogging lives.

My return to blogging will begin with November photos of the day (promts by Fat Mum Slim - as usual).

Here is a recap of the first week+.

1. Fruit - In my blender - for a smoothie.

2. I did this today -  After talking about eating bugs as I was teaching literacy to a group of students, one of the students said that her mother makes them.  I, of course, said I wanted to taste them.  A week and a half later this came to me in my classroom.  I ate a few at school, took the rest home.  I wasn't sure if they were supposed to be sprinkled on top of the cactus (YUM!) salad or not. I did not.

3. P is for - dance practice in the subway station.  No one looks twice at people who do things like this in the subway. I'm getting used to not making it seem like I think it's cool, but I still sneak pictures occasionally.

4. Table - chili while grading - gotta love my colleagues

5. I collect - a new visa for my December trip to India; process was not that bad after I went all the way back home to get proof of address since it was not listed on the website as something I needed to bring with me.

6. Music - went to a salon for a regular hair style and got my hair washed (by someone else) for the first time in over 12 years; I didn't realize I missed the sensation.  If you look carefully, you can see the little red radio on the right by the door that was playing a huge variety of music.  I was the only one in the shop which made it a much more pleasant experience than I remember salons being.  Didn't leave until almost 11 pm, though.

7. Yes - Doonya - not only have I been a horrible blogger, I have not been attending Doonya as often as I did before winning the weight loss competition last winter. I won free unlimited classes for a year, and have not really taken advantage. I gave out a big old YES when I finished, because I love how it feels to workout and I love dancing to do it.

8. Someone I miss - I can go a long time without talking to family, but I love them dearly and love when I do talk with them.  My dad had back surgery on Friday and I was waiting to hear some good news. Mom's text was nice to see.

9. Mine - In my new place (not that new - been here since August) I actually have a couch.  Haven't had one since moving away from StL.  Last place was too gross to bring in decent furniture.  It unfolds completely flat and is actually really comfortable for sitting, grading, napping, watching tv (which is fairly new since I didn't do that much when I was at the other place since sitting on the yoga mat was not conducive to tv watching. I must say, that most of my tv watching is on the laptop or tablet with Hulu+, though.  Need to get a device to allow me to watch them on the tv.

Tomorrow, I wear a haz-mat suit to school

Today started wonderfully!

Since the kids are doing state testing (required for graduation in NY) I am proctoring.  The exam I was proctoring went from 1:15-4:15, so I didn’t have to be at school until 10.  I woke up, went to the gym, stopped to get some fruit on the way home, took a shower, took a nap, got up, went and had breakfast at a place that is normally closed when I go to work at the normal time, got to work by 9:15.

I sat from 10-12:45 cleaning, organizing, packing, and getting a travel list ready for my upcoming Europe trip, which somehow keeps getting closer and closer.

Kids started arriving to my room around 12:45.

Sample test I found online

 We started the test on time.

Even with all my years of experience teaching, there are still days that I see things I have never seen before.  Today there were two such events in the three short hours that I proctored the state science exam.

First, students were not allowed to leave sooner than 90 minutes into the exam.  One girl called me to her table 28 minutes into the test and said she was finished – with all 60+ multiple choice and 13+ short answer, written responses.  I looked at her multiple-choice sheet and saw that she had marked each answer with 3 (instead of a, b, c, d they do 1, 2, 3, 4).  I told her to double-check her answers since, “I’m pretty sure every answer is not three and also that you may be able to answer some of the short answer questions.”

She continued to call me back to her in 12 minute intervals until I finally told her that she could not leave until at least 90 minutes into the exam and that I would not let her leave if she was not trying on the exam. 

In the end, she did not change her 3’s, but did complete 3 short answer questions. 

Second new teaching scenario: Later, as students who cared about and actually tried on the test started to finish, turn in their work, and sign out of the testing room, I noticed something on the floor.

I do not allow food in my classroom since NYC is a city of rats and mice and other critters. 

But, I saw some jelly on the floor in three places.

I didn’t want to get upset since the culprit had probably left the room since the other students were still testing and had not gotten up from their seats.  I figured a student must have dropped one of those fast-food condiment packets on the floor and stepped on it.  I gathered several napkins from my desk and quietly bent over to wipe up the mess – first the smaller one and then the larger one.

After the first wipe, I realized that it may not be jelly.

No, it was definitely not jelly.

It was way, way worse.

It was way, way, way worse than jelly.

It was an excretion.

It was blood and chunky mucous from a menstruating girl.

It was on the floor of in my classroom, and on a napkin I was holding in front of me.

Complete shock and awe!!!!

It took a lot for me to take the napkin quietly to the trash, calmly open the classroom door, and quietly signal for the hallway proctor to come to my door so that she could watch the students while I went to find the nearest chemistry lab to take a full body shower.

I only found a bathroom, and had to settle for hand washing scrubbing as though prepping to perform surgery.

I went back to the room and immediately emailed the administration about the incident and requested that my room be haz-mat-ed (I’m not sure if that is an actually term, but that is what I would like done to my room!)

I’m still trying to wrap my head around how this huge chunk and two streaks could have fallen out of a person wearing clothes.  Did she not notice?  Did she realize it was going on and just let it happen   Did she see the mess she left?  How did it get out of her underwear and onto my floor?

I wanted one of these

anyway?  Did she see the mess she left?  How did it get out of her underwear and onto my floor?

Sorry if you are sensitive to the grossness of this, but I really don’t understand how a person could just let this happen.  How she could not tell this was going on and not request to go to the bathroom.

I get that the test is required for graduating, but this was a situation that should have superseded the exam for at least a little while.

She needed to give this situation some immediate attention!

I may need to start keeping a suit like the one pictured handy in my classroom.