15 January 2012

Subconsciously pleasing

Even though I am a grown ass woman, I still have a tendency to want to please the parents.

I believe that I am doing some things in my life that I could move on from or do differently just because I subconsciously do not want to upset them or put more stress on their lives.

I am starting to get better at not doing this, but I think that I still need work.

I know I am far from where they were at this stage in life and I know that I am not as comfortable as I would like to be.  So why is it hard to say no to them when doing so could help me be better?  It's not like they can spank me or ground me or take anything away from me.

I guess I just want to be seen as a good daughter.  I know they say that they are proud of me, but I guess I just want to not do anything that would change their opinion.

Crazy, I know.

Sunday Stream of Consciousness post - five minutes of free writing.

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  1. I so agree with your post about wanting to please your parents. Even though I have children of my own now aged 20 and 17 I still care about what my father thinks.

  2. You and I suffer from the same thing.. Well, maybe it's just me. I care too much what others think. Especially my parents.. I'm 30! Like you, I'm getting better and being more of what I want, not what others (my parents want).

  3. I'm guilty of this as well but at the end of the day it's impossible to please everyone (believe me, I've tried). It will be a slow process but you'll care less and less about what others say/think/feel...even family. If you can only make sure that one person is smiling at the end of the day...may as well be you!

  4. @ Emma and @herthirties - It's good and bad to know there are others in the same boat. Hopefully we get out sooner than later.

    @ Sabrina - I had a conversation with them about one of my issues yesterday and it went easier than I imagined.

    I think some of my fears of disappointing them are just imagined and blown up in my mind before even making them real - if that makes sense.

  5. Isn't it scary and amazing the impact that our parents have on us FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES?? It's hard to break out from under the shadow but independence is a much better feeling.

  6. @ all.things.fadra - It is amazing the impact parents have. And the times that I have gotten out of the shadow has been a better feeling. I need to keep striving for more of those feelings.


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