25 March 2012

Not ready for free speech

Some days, I have so much to say on this blog.  There are family issues, boyfriend issues, work issues, opinions on politics, opinions on people's opinions on politics.

But, many times, I don't write about these things.

I don't write about them because I like to use this blog as a release, but not to blast a lot of personal information.  Kind of contradictory in a way, but it is what it is.

I don't write about them because my previous blog was shut down by my former superintendant when I voiced an opinion about a person they did not hire.  The blog was found despite my lack of using my name or the school's name.

I wonder if I will be able to grow the blog without fully putting my identity out here for all.  I wonder if I would have more consistent readers if I had more pictures of me and my family - if that would make me seem more real or something.

I wonder if people's comments would help me in solving some of the things I deal with if I was to write them on here.  Or would the comments cause me to clam up and write even less of my personal information? 

I have had posts where I put my views out there.  I received some of my longest, most detailed comments on some of my viewpoints.  Some of my views have been my most read posts, but didn't receive many or any comments.

Some of my recent posts have been my deeper thoughts, and people seem to respond well, but I don't always feel comfortable sharing these with people I know IRL let alone people I have never met and have only an internet relationship with.  I do feel connected with more people on these here interwebs, though. I have regular readers, I have regular blogs that I read.  

But, I just don't know.

I may continue to self-censor, or I may be more free.  Time will tell.

This was my Stream of Consciousness Sunday post.  The prompt was: "What are some things you wish you could blog about but can't?"  

You can read about it and see links to other blog posts from today on all.things.fadra.  If you want to try, it is quite simple... 5 minutes of just your thoughts.  You can write on the prompt or just write whatever you are thinking at the time.

#SOCsunday

25 comments:

  1. Somehow, it's easier to share with Internet strangers than with people you know. They don't know you, so their opinions are not clouded by previous judgments of you personally.

    But it's hard to know where to draw the line. Your comfort level is your guide, I suppose.

    I do find it strange that the most-viewed posts are often the ones with the fewest comments. My #1 all-time most-viewed post has zero comments.

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    1. It is much easier, especially when I know people can't find me and argue or dispute something I have written.

      Glad I'm not the only one with most-viewed posts that have no comments! THough, not sure if that is reassuring for both of us.

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  2. Interesting question. As I read your post, here some thoughts that come to mind.

    I write just the way I would communicate with others. There are things that I don't normally share even when I conserve in conversation and I won't do that either here. Everyone entitles to their own privacy. IMHO

    Since writing is one way of our expressions. We want to be sincere and honest about our feelings and opinions. I am not sure what is your goal when you blog.

    When I blog, I want to share my life events/experiences that I have encountered and hoping that we could learn from each other and perhaps making some friends along the way.

    One thing worth mentioning, just like when we converse in conversation. We humans don't like to hear constant complaining on others. Unless it is from our close friends or family.

    But, we would lend our ears if the writer/speaker pointing out the problems and share their thoughts instead of pointing out their fingers on a person.

    That was my two cents opinion. And this is a great post and I enjoy reading it as much as commenting it.

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    1. Thanks for commenting.

      I'm not totally sure yet what my purpose is for this blog besides just getting my thoughts out. Perhaps, I am helping people think about things, or helping people know that they are not alone in their experiences, or just adding some humor some days for people.

      I agree that complaining is not something people enjoy. Earlier this year I wrote about my goal to not complain as much. Just yesterday, I let one slip and I guess the guy I was around noticed that I have been so much more positive and questioned how I had suddenly become negative again. Crazy the impact it can have when you DON'T complain, right?

      Thanks again for sharing your two cents.

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  3. I can feel for you. I put 29 years in a school district. I had to be careful of everything I wrote, self-censure. Now, retired! I can write what I want, but I find I have a habit of watching what I write, and I guess I always will. I have a pen name I save some writing for, so she can take the heat. Yes, it's probably a cop-out, but I have to do what I have to do, the same as you do. Do what feels right. It may change and that's okay.

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    1. Congrats on no longer being at the mercy of the higher-ups in a district!!

      I think we all tend to watch what we write and say even when we know there is freedom attached to our actions. Don't feel bad about using a pen name as a cop-out - a.eye is clearly not my birth name!

      Thanks for commenting and reading.

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  4. I couldn't have said this better myself! I love this:
    "I don't write about them because I like to use this blog as a release, but not to blast a lot of personal information. Kind of contradictory in a way, but it is what it is."
    I find blogging a contradiction at times; do I pour my heart out and go crazy or do I just relese the crazy in bite size doses? Great post.
    -r

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    1. Thanks for the compliments. Glad I'm not the only one that contradicts in my free writing and self-censoring all while spouting the so-called free speech we have in the US.

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  5. When I'm writing I always remember the old saying, "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all". Is that self-censoring? Maybe, but it keeps me from getting into hot water or having to apologize to someone.

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    1. Self-censoring = etiquette, who's to say. Thanks for stopping in.

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  6. Oh you did this SOC...you're so brave. I saw it last night before I went to bed, had lots of half-thoughts about it, but in the end I didn't have the courage to sit down for 5 minutes to work it all out.

    You did beautifully -- you walked the fine line of question/answer gracefuly, insightfuly. Very nice.

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    1. It was a prompt I couldn't pass up since it is something I think about a lot - free idea for the day, I guess.

      Thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  7. I know exactly what you mean and I think life is sometimes a contradiction so why shouldn't our writing. I started my blog to express myself and put some of my writing out there to see what people thought of it. Until I started to write some things that were very personal and could have been misunderstood by friends and family members that I know read my blog from time to time. So even though the blog is my way to let my writing loose I end up self-censoring and only post certain things. Should I just let go and post it any way, who knows? But I think I will keep in my comfort zone, as the comment above says!

    Great post by the way, personal musing that got me thinking too...perfect!

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    1. I sometimes hesitate to write things that might be misunderstood by friends and family now that they read this blog more frequently. It's weird how we are free to write to strangers, but not for people closer, isn't it?

      Thanks for reading, and I'm glad the post started you thinking, too.

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  8. I can't even formulate my thoughts on this one. Wish we could hash it out over coffee. ;-)Yes, we play nice for a host of reasons. From some form of big brother to the protection of those we love, we avoid lettin'r rip. We look for the lesson, in the big picture, out of hope that we can offer a light of inspiration to someone coming behind, standing beside or a little bit ahead of us. Pointing out all that's wrong in the world does little other than highlight all that's wrong in the world. Keep chiseling away, eventually, you'll be lead in a direction that feels right for you.

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    1. I'll drink a virtual hot chocolate (not much for coffee) and imagine talking it over with you. ;-) I can only hope that I inspire people as much has you often do in your posts. I'll keep chiseling and hope for the best.

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    2. Thank you and, yes, you do. ;-)

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    3. That means a lot! Thanks!

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  9. I write like I talk. I used to censor myself and I found it was a lot harder to write for me. Instead, I just be myself and write away allowing myself to ramble. Then I go back and edit, edit, edit. Over time I have found my voice, and amazingly enough it is very much a mirror of me in real life.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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    1. I think I am finding that some of my best writing comes when I just let myself ramble.... At least when I ramble about something I care about or something I am pondering.

      Thanks for coming back and commenting.

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  10. Really nice post thanks for posting that stuff. I like that kind of amazing and useful posts thanks for sharing.

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  11. It sounds as though you have very good reason to be cautious. I'm sorry your other blog was shut down because you expressed a fairly anonymous opinion.

    I will tell you I very very rarely mention my work. I don't talk about what I do specifically or for whom. If I talk about it at all, it's in passing (i.e. on my way to work today...). That's for my protection and theirs.

    Knowing your boundaries - what you will not talk about under any circumstances - is such an important part of blogging. I've come so very close to crossing my line a number of times but I've always got that line very clear in my head before I even begin.

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    1. I probably should have gone that route (not mentioning work), but I feel it adds to some of what I say when people know that I am an educator or if I am telling stories about anonymous students or experiences.

      The boundaries of writing and the limits of free speech... ughhhhhh.

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  12. I agree with what Erin said. It's often easier to pour your heart out to complete strangers because they take what you say at face value. I'm pretty open and honest but I'm always aware that my blog is a reflection of me, both personally and professionally.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by. It is so much easier, many times, to share with people you don't know. I sometimes find it easy to mingle among strangers than I do among a room full of people I know.

      I love your blog and your openness on it!

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I share my thoughts and would love to read your thoughts, too.