I love people, sometimes

I sometimes come across as shy.  I sometimes come across as standoffish.  I sometimes come across as the one who is trying to help others come out of their shell.  I sometimes come across as a total people person - funny, really silly, really energetic, full of life and conversation.

It all depends on the situation and the people I am around and how I am feeling at the time.

I do like people.

But I am an introvert - doesn't necessarily mean I am shy, just that I don't necessarily thrive on putting myself out there all the time unless I am really feeling it.

I love talking with certain people in my life.  I love the joy that brings and the laughter that ensues and the knowledge that is imparted.  I love the back and forth play with words that can take place.

I also seem to enjoy talking with strangers at functions.  I don't fully understand that one, but I am sometimes more comfortable talking with people I have never met than I am talking with acquaintances.  I love meeting people and learning their stories.  I love hearing stories of people and the people they have met.

I have become more comfortable with not forcing conversation when I am not feeling it.  I don't just play along anymore - that wastes my time and the other person's time.  I think this has probably caused some people I work and coach with to think that I don't like them.  Definitely not true.  At times, they are people who truly energize me.

Lately, I have just had so many other things that I need to do and have really not wanted to join in some of the topics they talk about.  Sometimes it is draining to listen to people talk about things that I am not interested in.  Sometimes it is really draining to listen to people complain and not have anything positive to say.

So, to answer Fadra's prompt for this Stream of Consciousness Sunday, "Are you a people person?  Do you feel energized or drained around people?"  The answer is yes to each part.

Saturday quote: Options on suffering

Quote for Saturday:

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.
~ John Rohn

I prefer competitive excellence

I am a competitive person.

When I was an athlete, I wanted to do my best.  It made me upset when I got to college and was no longer among the fastest in the meets.  As a coach, I love to be able to take athletes who were not good and make them into athletes that are competitive.  In work, I love trying to be the best teacher I can be.  I love looking for new lessons.  I love watching shows on television the can help me better teach information to my students.

I cannot understand why some students and student-athletes are so noncompetitive.  I have kids on my track team who could care less whether they win or lose.  There are some who don't want to be put into meets.  There are several who are so inconsistent with their practicing that it makes no sense to me.  They either are not attending practices regularly or when they do attend, they do not try as hard as they are capable of doing.

I don't understand.

I talked with a friend of mine who said that he would rather work with people who suck and are competitive and confident rather than someone who is really good and has no confidence.

When I was younger, this would not have made any sense to me.

Now, I totally understand.

I would rather work with people who are horrible at their job/sport, but who care.  I would rather work with people who are going to try.  I would rather work with people who are willing to work to improve rather than people who are really good but don't care at all.

Some questions answered

Today, I play along with dbstevens since she is going on a break from her blog for awhile.

What's in a name?  Is a name just a name when it can conjure up so much feeling in a person?  Is a name just a name when even when someone else has that name it brings you such strong feelings?  Is a name just a name when people all over the country wait for celebrities to announce the newest name of the newest birthed child?  Is a name just a name when it becomes a push to have the most unique one, one that will encompass everything you want a child to become?

What is in a name?

Who knows?!?

On Kicking Corners dbstevens has asked readers to address five questions from her blog post.

This what they need to do outside my bedroom.

1. What are you listening to right now? I am listening to the birds as they chirp and enter and exit the outside vent of the apartment next to my bedroom.  They are loud, they are annoying, and the apartment people seem to think it is not an emergency that needs to be taken care of.
2. Do you like your handwriting?  I don't really like it.  I see other people's handwriting and think it looks sophisticated.  I see mine and think of messy juveniles.  I have switched it up recently, but I don't feel it has added anything to make me like my handwriting more.
3. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?  I sure hope so.  I think I can be funny and I like my sarcasm.  I think I am pretty loyal to friends, though I do sometimes go long stretches without calling or seeing a friend.  But, when we do meet/talk again, we are still cool... or maybe I think we are cool and the other person secretly hates me.
4. What's your favorite breakfast?  Pancakes, bacon, eggs.  I also love so many different kinds of breakfasts.  I also love so many different types of cereal.  My siblings created a special holiday that we celebrate each year (though, I think we missed it this year) where we eat cereal for breakfast and dinner for seven days in a row.
I'm skipping around, now...
9. Scary movies or happy endings?  I love East Asian scary movies.  They are actually kind of scary, unlike American ones that tend to be more humorous than scary.  As I have gotten older, I have started to like sappy, girl-movies.  It is not something that I am proud of, which may be why am in love with the East Asian films.
10. What makes you feel young?  Working out (even though I am nowhere near the shape I was in when I was actually young).  Having people mistake me for younger than I actually am (some have thought I was a student in the school where I teach).  Laughing hysterically.
11. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?  I'm not entirely sure.  What is the reason that a person dies at a young age?  Is it so that you or someone the person knew could do something great in their life?  Is it because the person did something bad in their life?  I don't know.  I have a colleague who sat on an airplane and said hi to the stranger sitting next to her.  They talked the whole flight and ended up falling in love and had a baby earlier this year and will be married soon.  Was that destined?  I don't know.  Is the enormous back pain I have suffered all so that I can focus on working out to prevent the pain?  I don't know.
14. Do you always smile for pictures?  When I am in photographs, I channel my inner ANTM and smize (smile with my eyes).  This can be with a smile or without a smile.  I work on my angles and try and make sure that even when there are really attractive people in the photo with me, I still look decent since you never know where photos will show up online these days.
20. What's the coldest you've ever been?  Track meet about 4 years ago.  It was so cold that when I bought some hot chocolate, it stopped steaming almost as soon as it was poured out of the hot spout.  I was so cold that I could not feel my extremities.  It was so cold that I became angry.  I was angry until about two hours after I was home from the meet and the tingle from my fingers and toes thawing out had ceased.

This was fun.  You can check out the rest of the questions on Kicking Corners and answer them for yourself if you desire.

I love the freedom my hair provides

There is really something liberating about being able to do activities without worrying greatly about your hair.

My twists, shrunken from moisture,
but still cute and easy!!

There are so many black women who do not workout because they do not want to sweat out their hair styles.  (Seriously,  Google it.  There was even a push by the surgeon general to get black women to exercise and worry less about their hair!)

Even when I had relaxed (chemically straightened) hair, I did not really worry about sweating my hair out.  I would wash out the sweat, blow dry it straight, and then style it back again.  I guess that is too much work for some women.  I didn't spend a lot of money on mine - I still prefer to do my own hair rather than pay someone to do it.  Maybe the cost of the style makes a difference in your willingness to mess the 'do, I don't know.

My natural hair has allowed me to feel even more free about getting sweaty and wet and to play and go in the rain without worry.

So easy to maintain.  So easy to style.  Just a comb, some water, and I'm practically done.

I hope for more African American women to experience such freedom.

Playing teacher

I continue my daily writing for 2012 back together with NaBloPoMo.  May's theme is Play.

Today, I am thinking about teaching and what I like about it.  Besides imparting knowledge about the subject area and about life, I also love the fact that I am almost on a stage each class period.  I get to play with voices, with intonation, with the way I share information.

Quote on my board.
I try and put quotes up that relate to what someone is currently going through.

One day I can be reading a story about the KKK and using accents and volume and strategic pauses to get the message across, another day I can act as though I agree with the "bad guys" of WWII and help the students to look at the issues from a different perspective.  I can use "the look" to get students' attention refocused and I can joke around with kids between classes as I help them try and solve what they believe to be life-altering issues.  I use my humour and a touch of sarcasm to cheer students up when their outside of school lives can get messy and when they feel hurt by in-school drama.

Despite some of the stresses, it really is enjoyable!

I have been told from the kids that I should become an actor because I am so good at changing it up.

Perhaps that is my next calling.