Sharing Sharolyn's Joy

I still feel a rush of emotions when I remember my uncle and when I reread my post (here) I wrote after he died.

My birthday is still bittersweet because it was on my birthday that my family buried my uncle.

Now, 6+ years later, a lot of those feelings rushed back to me.

A few days ago I got word that his ex-wife as ill, in the hospital on life support, and had multiple organ failure.

I remember when they were married.  She was the American wife to a kind of old-school Nigerian man, but in front of us at least, she was always so friendly.  Always full of cheer.  I rarely saw her not smiling.

To me, at the time, their divorce seemed sudden and out of nowhere.  Looking back and at my uncle, I'm sure being married to him and dealing with all of his issues could have been draining and straining.

Even after the divorce, she would sometimes be seen at some Nigerian family/friend functions.

At my uncles funeral, she was there with us as my siblings, my father, and my mother went through the emotional service. She was there smiling as I read my blog post for the mass of guests.  She was there with us even through the after events.

Once she found us all on FaceBook, it was on.   She was often one of the first to compliment me or my family on our recent photos and wished us each a happy birthday each year.  Always two days early.

She was so freaking nice that her illnesses and the fact that they made her suffer for longer than I could imagine dealing with illness make me cry just typing this.

It hurts to think that I didn't speak to her since early March, and even that was through email correspondence.

It makes me wish that all people in my life - current, past, close, not-as-close-as-we-once-were could be seen now, given a hug, or at least share a laugh and some messages.  Messages of how they've touched my life, improved my mood, made me think, shared my joy, helped me in times of sorrow, made me stretch beyond my comfort zone, made me question myself, made me improve myself, or even just sat next to me during a boring workshop or meeting.

I always hold myself out to be strong and steadfast in my stoic nature.

I remember when some crazy stuff happened to Kid Sis #2 and my mom was shocked at how hard I took it - shocked at how much it impacted me and that I cried, hard.

I cry over shit.

I've started to cry at little things - including stupid scenes in tv shows.  I cry at joyful things as well as sorrowful things.

I am almost always impacted when events involve people I love, have loved, or care about.

I can't help it.

I don't know that I want to help it anymore.

I'm fine with my emotions coming out at times.

What I want to be better at is contacting people I care about more regularly.  I need to be better about letting them know how much they mean to me before it's too late, or before they forget that I ever cared.

I need to spread the joy that my Aunt Sharolyn spread with her smile and all of her kind words.

Hopefully, she knew how much I loved her and her energy...

March Photo-a-Day: Week 2

Photo prompts given by Fat Mum Slim.

March 12 - In the distance

12. Saw this woman on the subway.  Kind of looks homeless-ish/disheveled, though more colourful and wearing Beats headphones - which I still don't understand why even the small ones are close to or over 100 dollars American.  Not homeless-ish.  Just eclectic and adventurous - as seen often in NYC.

March 13 - Sound

13. A cappella group from Rochester University came to sing for the 9th graders.  I had one of the free rooms before they performed since I was on my prep, so as I graded, I was fortunate to hear them warming up... especially since I don't teach 9th and didn't get to hear the actual performance.

March 14 - Tasty

14. Found a new place to get lunch on days when I don't bring in my own. I had the delicious, yet comically named "Breast Munchies" and might switch it up next time by trying the also comically named "Breast Rider" (without onions).

March 15 - Explore

15. In an effort to help the girls at school see women doing jobs that might typically be predominantly male, and to help them get ideas about what they want to do once they finish school, the school hosts Cool Women, Hot Jobs - 80+ women talking about what they do and how they got there.  Awesome.  When it was complete, I started to question myself about my job... there were so many awesome ones out there.

March 16 - 9 o'clock

16. This week was really full, exciting, and draining.  I did Doonya three nights, went to a Doonya DVD launch party on Thursday (not getting home until midnight then getting back up at 4:30 for school), worked to get student work graded before Friday since it was the end of the marking period, and chaperoned a dance on Friday evening.  Good times, little rest.  So on Saturday, at 9:00, I was still in bed.  Took this photo at around 9:20 when I forced myself to get up.

March 17 - Green

17. I'm not one to celebrate St. Patrick's day, but did where green because my current go-to scarf is this circle scarf that is so warm and comfy and wonderful and I love it and want to wear it all the time.  I also found out on that day that the same saint is the patron saint of Nigeria.  So next year, I have to remember to get some sort of "Kiss me, I'm Nigerian" shirt.

March 18 - Shoes

18. One thing I enjoy about rainy/snowy days is that I get to wear my rain boots.  They are different from the typical black, and I like that.

March Photo a Day: Week 1

Photo prompts selected from Fat Mum Slim.

March 1 - L is for...

1. Learning more about Harlem.  There is so much history in the area.  I often catch people taking guided tours,  like in the photo, and want to join one day so I can learn about the rich history of the place.  There are so many names all over the place - building names, street names, graffiti on walls like in this photo - that mean a lot to the history, that I just don't know at this point.

March 2 - I made this!

2. Ok. So I didn't actually make the Doonya DVD, but I have been taking the classes at least three times each week for over a month.  I love it and feel like it is helping me get back in shape and helping me love working out again.  I can do different dance moves and often feel like I'm in a  Bollywood movie dance scene during class.  I am excited that the creators just released the DVD (you can get them on Amazon so you too can feel Bolly-tastic as you shake your hips!)

March 3 - Key

3. The key to a successful business is to pull in customers.  I'm not sure if this business is showing sagging pants on purpose, or if it was accidental.  The one in the yellow really gave me the giggles!

March 4 - Lucky

4. I'm lucky to have met Camille when she was in St. Louis and getting started with her jewelry business.  Now her company PeaceImages is blowing up and still treats her customers with awesome care.  She made these earrings for me.

March 5 - Under

5. Under the city are subways that help me get just about anywhere I need/want to be in NYC.  They are truly filthy a lot of times.  There are places that I have seen be repaved with fresh cement, only to go back three days later and see it recovered with chewed gum and other filth.  Despite the path of trash on the tracks, I do like the lines I captured in this picture, though.

6. Chair

March 7 - Fear

7. Heat is given to people in the city by oil.  This is an oil truck hosing oil into a local business.  I am always fearful that someone will cause a spark and a huge fire each time I see one of these ubiquitous trucks.

March 8 - Favourite

8. I love that I am up early enough to still see the city looking nice when it snows - before there are footprints everywhere and before cars have splashed the crisp whiteness with specks of brown.

March 9 - Faceless self-portrait

9. I have my hair in bantu knots, so I look a little weird in shadow right now.

March 10 - I want...

10. ... to win the lottery.  Enough said.

March 11 - Important

11. These signs are everywhere. In every public building I can remember being in in NYC.  I guess there must have been some huge accidents in order to get these up in each establishment.

February Photo-a-Day: Week two & three

Two weeks worth of photos with prompts by Fat Mum Slim.

February 5 - Something you smelled

5. The amount of funk that some ballerinas produced in the studio prior to my fitness class was unbelievable! Even from the lobby, shown here, you could smell them when they opened the door. I thought ballet people were supposed to smell dainty and like flowers and candy.

February 6 - Soft

6. My first pairs of non-white/black socks ever.  I decided to go pretty bright.

February 7 - Your name

7. This sandwich had my name written all over it at lunchtime!!

February 8 - Something orange

8. I think this place might be selling the mannequins, but I'm not sure.  The orange coloring and the provocative poses always gets my attention, though.

February 9 - Guilty pleasure

9. Didn't really feel guilty eating these, but it was a pleasure.

February 10 - 3 o'clock

10. Snow did not fall as much in Manhattan as it did in Long Island, but it was enough to shut some people down from wanting to clear their cars.

February 11 - Entrance

11. Lost a pair on the way to work.  Replaced them with these peaceimages pieces that arrived in the mail on this day.  Love the!

January 12 - Where you ate lunch

12. I did not eat this for lunch but a student tried to sneak it into my classroom (freshly popped and aromas going all over the place) for her lunch.  I wrote more about it here.

February 13 - Walking

13. walking - I wrote this past week about how I may have caused a fire in the school.  Here is a picture of the front area where the fire happened.  I'm still trying to understand how the security people and the others in the front hallway did not contain the fire with the fire extinguisher right there (two doors from where the fire took place - as well as one in the room directly to the left of the fire location), or make some calls to people who could before it became to big and I had to stand outside for an hour with no coat and a thin-ass sweater before walking to another school who would be our safe-site.

14. love is - Sometimes love is something as simple as sharing a box of Nerds.

February 15 - Inside your fridge

15. Pretty bare until my Sunday (this week Tuesday since I didn't have to work) runs to Trader Joe's.

February 16 - Perfect

16. Great brunch with great people after a great workout.  Good times lasted well into the evening.

February 17 - In your hand

17. Friday at the end of the school day, I spilled some tea onto my laptop.  I started first aid on it that day and did surgery on it Saturday and Sunday by removing various keys and cleaning them several times.  I felt really technologically competent - especially after it still worked and all the keys went back on the correct spaces.

February 18 - Something you don't like

18. I was craving something sweet.  I couldn't think of what I wanted, so I bought these.  They are not tasty.  They are pretty disgusting.  Throughout the day, I ate three anyway.

January/February Photo-a-Day

January prompts and February prompts given by Fat Mum Slim.

January 28 - Through

28. Walking through Williamsburg in Brooklyn I saw this building.  Kind of weird how it looks old on the bottom, but has all that metal, modern stuff on the top.

January 29 - Grown

29. Last week, in my photos, I showed the printer that I had just bought, but was printing all black.  Clearly my grown-ass was too tired when I was hooking it up, because I failed to notice this large orange thing on the toner that clearly said "REMOVE".  The boif took it off, and it is now working perfectly.

January 30 - Down

30. I wore this cute pair of earrings to school on this day.  One of them didn't have the little earring-holder-in-place-thing and I lost it either on the subway to work or on the walk to work after getting off the subway.  It was so cold that I had my scarf wrapped and the hood of my coat on, and one of those likely knocked it out of my ear.  It fell down, and it couldn't get up.

January 31 - Yourself

31. Field trip for some of the girls at school.  It was for a Kotex deal that helps empower girls by helping them feel more comfortable talking about their bodies and helps them learn the truth about different misconceptions.  School bus strike meant that there were no school buses to transport us to NYU.  The next option was a charter bus.  Issue was that the other charters were all used.  Next option was this.  A party bus.  Didn't know that would be the transportation until I stepped in and the driver explained.  I never pictured myself riding in one of these for a school trip - or having to regularly tell the girls not to touch or take photos next to the poles.  Got to see Khloe Kardashian at the event, too.

February

1 - Fork

1. I bought a ready made potato and steak frozen bag, then decided to try it on my own with fresh food.  So far, I can still make some improvements to make the potatoes a bit more crisp, but all in all, not a bad thing to pick up with my fork and eat.

2- Pattern

2. Many times, me and the boif crack each other up.  This day was no exception.  He took a patterned plastic bag from a store and made a pair of speedos out of them.  Hilarious!

3 - Something beginning with e

3. It is still too cold to function well outside in NYC.  I saw this lady wearing some earmuffs, and had to ask her about them.  She said they are called Earbags.  They fit around your ear so you don't have that band that comes with regular earmuffs.  I love them!

4 - Hope

4. This guy sings in the passageway between the L and 1/2/3 trains almost every day.  Every day, he is singing Beetles songs.  Every time I pass by he is singing one of three of the group's songs.  Most of the time it is "Help!"  I sometimes hope that he will sing a different song, but he always seems so happily out of tune, that I just leave him be.

Wordless Wednesday: I don't go crazy

January Photo-a-Day: Week 4

January Photo-a-Day.  Prompts by Fat Mum Slim.

This past week has been so cold that I didn't really want to even take my phone out of my pocket to snap pictures outside.  It was so cold that I didn't show much more than my eyes when outdoors.  I was so cold that it hurt my eyes.  Because of that, most of my pictures are inside this past week.  Hopefully, this next week sees temperatures past the twenties.

January 21 - What you do

21. I love trying new things with my hair now that I don't look like Hey Arnold anymore.  I tried to blow it out and can now even put parts in my hair - with the assistance of a few bobby pins.

January 22 - Corner

22. This is a corner of my pre-war apartment elevator.  I like that it is winter and I don't have to touch the buttons without gloves or with my keys anymore.  They just seem as though they are icky.

January 23 - Electric

23. I like to shred items with my name on them that come in the mail.  I guess I am a bit paranoid, but I don't like my name and address to be in the trash and then wind up in someone's hands.  Same with private information and even prescription information.  I finally got a shredder here in NYC - didn't bring mine from StL.  Now I have eliminated a huge pile of papers and feel lighter.

January 24 - Stripes

24. I love my Uniqlo clothes.  They have some sort of heat technology that makes you warm without needing a lot of layers.  I have this striped tunic that I am in love with (also have it in tanish).

January 25 - Landscape

25. I found this shop where I would eventually get my printer.   I like the little bitty park that is across the street from it.  The shops are behind the trees.

January 26 - Together

26. I don't know why this man sitting across from we on the subway had on two watches.  I guess so he could tell the time two times as well when his hands are together.  I tried to take the photo all sly, but my flash went off as I accidentally hit the snap button before I even had it pointed right.  I tried to play it off, and got a better picture after sitting like I was just looking at ish on my phone for a few stops.

January 27 - Sun

27. I should have known this printer would not be the sunshine in my life when, as it was being transported up the conveyor belt to be handed off to me, it slipped back down and I heard it sliding and tumbling.  I should have known.  Instead, I figured it must be padded enough and took it home.  After setting it up, it printed every page completely black.  I called customer service and they said it was broken and needed service.  Now, I must figure out how to carry this big-a thing back down to the beautifully landscaped store and get another one.  So much for saving time on school prep this week.

January Photo-a-day: Week 3

Photo-a-day challenge.  Prompts by Fat Mum Slim.

January 14 - Something yellow

14. Poetry on the subway.  "Like hot food/ I love you/ like warm/ bread & cold/ cuts, butter/ sammiches/ or, days later, after/ Thanksgiving/ when I want/ whatever's left" Kevin Young 1970.  I love the yellow colors and how it goes with the yellow seats on the train.

January 15 - An ordinary moment

15. I know, I know.  Last week, I harped on how much weight I've put on.  But one of my keys to taking it off it to not limit myself from the occasional treat.  I wanted ice cream, so I had some.  Then I went to my exercise class just a couple hours later.  It was delicious.  It was a nice, ordinary moment.  Hadn't had ice cream since fall; I got a small cup and only filled it a little over halfway.

January 16 - Two things

16. First thing, my new workout bag is perfect for carrying my clothes on those days when I go straight from school to workout.  It is also good as a purse. I didn't bring any to NYC and am tired of carrying my backpack around everywhere I go.
The second thing is a look at the nasty-ass pipes in the kitchen.  The one on the right started leaking.  I called the super, he didn't come for two weeks.  Called him again after two weeks when the pipe became completely dislocated from the top part of the pipe.  He fixed it by reattaching it.  I guess it was too much to hope that he would replace the whole pipe system.

January 17 - Ready

17. Here I am getting ready to go into my workout class.

January 18 - Shadow

18. Walking through Union Square on the way home.  Lots of shadows as the sun starts to set.

January 19 - Delicious

19. These are delicious, low-cal, and a nice crunch.  Not super filling, though, so don't know if I will keep getting them.

January 20 - Something you saw

20. Saw this on the way to Trader Joe's and sent the image to Kid Sis #1.  She has her adorable puppy to take care of and this is an easy way to get the things she needs and wants for her.  Why don't I ever come up with these cool ideas?!