Worry less and feel good anyway?

I saw someone post this either on FB or Twitter and thought it was brilliant.

Only issue is that I need to better heed the advice.

Worry less:
I am going to try to live by this idea.

Smile more:
When I am not smiling, I tend to have a really serious look on my face.  There are students and grown-folks who tell me that I need to smile more.  I have started to smile more even when I don't feel like it.  I try to always greet people with a smile.  Even when I walk down the halls at work or walk down the street or walk down aisles in stores and come across a person, I smile at them.  Often, I get a smile back.  Other times, I am ignored, other times, I get a strange look - I guess some people are not used to seeing a friendly face.
I still feel that I have times when I am worrying about something that I am not smiling at people.  I need to worry less so that I can smile more.

Accept criticism:
When people I care about criticize me, I get defensive and close up a bit to what is being said.  I guess that I really want to be accepted by people I care about and don't want for them to be seeing the negative sides of me.
In becoming defensive, I sometimes miss what they are saying or don't want to admit that I am in the wrong.  I make excuses for my actions - sometimes ones that don't really make sense.
I heard a quote (sorry I can't remember who it was from) that I try to repeat that summarizes what I need to do with this part of the poster

We receive great value from being open to feedback without becoming defensive.

So true.  I am already getting better with this, and am already taking steps to address some of the issues that have been brought to my attention.
If I can accept criticism, I will be able to smile more during these conversations with loved ones and worry less about how I come across since I will be working to better the aspects of me being criticized.

Take responsibility:
I need to do more of this.
I take responsibility for my failures to act.  I take responsibility for my mistreatment of people.  I take responsibility for my life being the way it is.

A motto I recite each morning is "Be better than you were yesterday."

Listen & love:
I love to love.
I love to listen.
With all this technology in my hands, though, I find that sometimes I am distracted as I listen to people and don't hear everything being said.  I am sure that I have missed out on some great things people have said IRL, on the telly, and even things I have skimmed over while reading because I was multitasking --unsuccessfully.
I need to be more responsible and be more present with people and with everything that I am doing.


Don't hate:
I don't really have too much of an issue with this one.  I don't hate people.  I understand that some people are reflections of their environment.
I hate their environment.  I hate their upbringing.
The older I get, the more I hate the systems that contribute to the way the society is set up.  I hate that there are still racist ideas spewing out of people (regularly in comments on sites).  I hate that politicians refuse to really address the racist comments that they have said.  I hate that people are not willing to be respectful to the President and his family, even if they do not share his political opinions.  I hate that politicians are not willing to work to better society mainly because they want to disagree with the administration.  I hate how the economy is working right now.  I hate that even in athletics there are discrepancies between how races are seen and how they participate.  I hate that we have to make light of the fact that people say things about the other (or their own) races.
I could go on and on with things I hate.
I try not to worry about many of them, but they are in my face daily.

Embrace change:
I know that I want a lot of things in my life to change.
I sometimes do not act because I am afraid of failure or what might be out there if I don't succeed.
I need to not worry so much, listen to people's support, and be more willing to embrace change.

Feel good anyway:
Seriously.
This one is simple, yet hard for me.
But I will try.

Wordless Wednesday: Bad lip reading

Hilarity.



Find more at Bad Lip Reading.

Not worrying about problems

I have really embraced the idea of living basically.

So much so that it seems that things are coming at me daily for a few weeks now that are pretty much beginning to reassure me that that is the right focus for me at this time.

The latest one was an image I saw on Twitter as well as on FB at least three or four times over the past week.  And each time, I seem to examine it and think about how true it is.

So simple.

And yet, I feel that I must worry about if I can do something about a problem that does exist, if I am doing the correct thing about it.

Ugghhhhh.............

Basically effective

Each day for the past week and a half, I have been getting rid of something.  There have been old pens that do not work, old makeup, old clothes I no longer wear, old paperwork that I no longer need, old yoga DVDs that I don't use (I just use different poses from websites and create my own yoga/pilates morning workouts), old medications that are expired, old food that is WAY past expiration dates, old teacher material that I haven't/don't use, old screws that came with things I put together, but don't know what they go to, old hair products/accessories that I won't be needing any time soon... you get the idea.

This has been the beginning of a cleansing for me.

It is really a relief each morning to get up and ask, "What am I going to get rid of today?"

People typically keep so much junk in their homes that they end up needing storage units or stuff their garages/basements so full that they cannot use the area for its rightful purpose.  I have never wanted to be one of those people.

I have always lived fairly minimally.  I don't own a lot of things, but I can still stand to minimize more.  I want to have only things I use and nothing that has been sitting for more than a year unused (besides photographs).

I'm trying to do the same with my life.

• I know I can't completely get rid of people who cause me stress, but I can limit how I allow them to impact me.  And, for the most part, I can limit the contact to just the necessities.
• I will become better at allowing people closer into my life.  I am a loyal friend, but I can go a long time without talking to friends.  For some, we get back together and it is like no time has gone by, for others, they may feel awkward after not talking for so long.  I need to make sure I know who is ok with which scenario - better yet, just stay in touch with all friends and fam.
• I am better at communicating in writing than verbally.  Verbally, I may need to sit and think before saying what is to be said... almost like an editor or something.  I need to become better at sharing verbally with people; I need to make sure they know where I stand and what I am thinking. 
• I will do things to help my various health conditions.  Continue my daily morning yoga, start back with cardio, visit the chiropractor and the specialist doctors more regularly.
• I will continue to get rid of items in my home and at my desk at school.

I want to live basically so that I may think more effectively.

Long hair, don't care

Three nights ago, I had my boyfriend's niece cut my hair.  She is in school to be a cosmetologist, and has learned a lot about hair.  She hasn't yet learned how to cut a fro, but I gave it a go anyway.

She used a traditional method you would use on straight hair.  It was not too bad, but once washed out, it was not super even all the way around.

Two nights ago, I decided to do another big chop.  In total, in two days, I cut off about five inches of hair.

Wow!

Back to under an inch in length.

I'm using this as a new beginning in a few different ways.

I am going to retrain my hair to not be tangled, I am going to retrain my self to take better care of my hair, I am going to learn more ways to protect the ends as it grows so that it looks great as it gets longer, I am going to keep it shaped as it grows out so that it looks great as it gets longer.

I am going to become more disciplined with my hair and my life.

In my life, I basically am more of a follower to some extent.  I don't just do what others do, but I am slightly lazy and more or less let things go as they go, unless it is something I have an understanding for and can control easily.

I am going to begin to take more control.  I am not going to allow others and outside situations to dictate what I am doing.  I am not going to let others allow me to fail.  I am not going to allow people to annoy me.  I am not going to sit back and not know what I want.  I am going to formulate plans and take action to really figure out what I want in all situations.

I am going to begin to take more control.

No, this is not some sort of Jan 1st resolution that will fail in a few weeks.  This is something I have been working on throughout the past year and that I feel I will be even better at this year.  

My hair is just the beginning of my new beginnings.

After all my logic and my theory I add a...

I am about to go buy some RPGs, some grenades, some bullet-proof coverings for my house windows and doors, and some serious private security guards.

Why?

Because Saint Louis is the 3rd most dangerous city in the world.

Don't laugh.

It is, according to Urbantitan.

We are further up the list than Mogadishu.  Higher than Caracas, higher than a city in Chechnya, and way higher than a city in Pakistan, where al-Qaeda kidnaps US reporters.

I know I shouldn't take this mess seriously, but come on now.

To compare any US city to the listed international cities and so many more cities where people really do fear for their lives daily is absurd.

I have never gone to sleep with ear plugs in due to the noise of the bombs; I have never had to sleep with night shades over my eyes so that the bright lights of the exploding bombs and missiles don't keep me awake.

I have never had to walk through shrapnel, crumbled buildings, streets filled with tanks, alleys full of soldiers reloading and resting up before the next evenings attacks.

I have never had to adjust where I walk so that I don't have to risk my small child seeing and walking over piles of dead bodies.

I have never had to see (in real life) the disfigured, dismembered bodies of my neighbors or co-workers.

I know that people try to bring this city down.  I know that there is still high unemployment here (especially among African American males).  I know that there is a good deal of crime at times in some parts of the city.

I know that there are people who move out of this city after getting tired of being asked where they went to high school for the one-millionth time.

These people are not considered refugees.

They are leaving on their own volition.

But as I always say - the data is not really that accurate.

Most lists that include StL as the most dangerous in the country (now world) do not count the city as most other areas of the country do.  StL county is not counted as part of StL.  Almost every other area of the nation includes the entire metropolitan area in their city counts.

Not to say that the county is crime free, but they don't have as many violent crimes.  They just have kidnappings, meth labs, cocaine parties, and a ton of other events in recent history that I won't list because some one is bound to think I am making light of the various situations, but please, do your research.

When you do count the city and the county together, the statistics for StL drop enormously.

I'm not going to argue that there are not a lot of crimes in the city, but it definitely does not compare to many other places.  If you watch local news here, there is a constant barrage of crime being shared (though I'm not sure if that is because there is a lot of it, or if it is because that is what local people expect to see on their news channels.  And if you really look at the local news (which I cannot stand, sorry Ms Huda), you could see that most of the crimes are taking place in the same spots of the city.

I am not going to hate on the author of the story for not looking at statistics appropriately.

But I am going to hate on the author for saying that "East St. Louis is the area of nearly 65% of the crime".

EAST ST. LOUIS IS NOT THE SAME CITY AS ST. LOUIS.  It's not even in the same state.  There is a huge (though sometimes not so high with all the drought) river that separates the two cities.  And if you want to get even more technical with it, not all of the area on the east side of the river is East StL.  There are other cities that people tend to lump together that are not actually part of EStL.  Perhaps that is causing that area to have a worse rap than it should.  If you include East Saint in the statistics, then you should include the whole metro area, fo' real.

All in all, the blog sucks.

And now that I think about it, this is what is to blame for some of the students I teach and young people I see around the area.

They think they are super hard as shit.

Why shouldn't they even though most of them have never been in a fight, never seen a gun, maybe been detained for MIP of weed, and never had to deal with any large amount of trauma, let alone having a bomb drop on your house in the middle of the night?

And why shouldn't they when each year they hear that their "city" is among the most dangerous in the country?  They all think of the city as the whole metropolitan area.  And they don't watch the news or have classes that teach about what is going on in the world, so I guess according to them (and the author of this blog) they do live in the third most dangerous area of the world.

These people are the reason that I often feel like Lauryn Hill.  Even after all my logic and my theory, I (often want to) add a mother-fucka so you ignant n----s hear me.  Remember. Take notes.

"Zealots".