30 December 2008

The little things

Sometimes things that seem really minuscule really make a big effect on me. There are times when this is good, there are times when this is really bad. But all in all, it is really interesting to me how some little events, actions, things people say can really make a difference in people's feelings. Here are a few from the past couple of weeks:
  • The whole funeral - Really emotional. It was really hard to get through, but at the same time I learned more about my uncle and his close friends. I learned about the ones that were really close to him and how some had known him since before he even arrived in this country. I learned about how much he really touched all of those guys. I saw my father get emotional. I have never in all my years seen him cry or even look really sad. That hurt, and at the same time it was a sort of relief to see him doing this. It had been more than a hard 5 weeks for him to see his brother in the hospital dying. Since he is a doctor, I can't imagine what it must have been like to understand all the machines and all the words the doctors were saying. At the same time, I know that it was hard for him to see his brother going through this after all that the two of the had been through in all their years. He is the man in the local community that everyone else comes to for advice, for support, for knowledge. It was really touching to see his friends comforting him, to see them provide support for him. And seeing the vast numbers of people out there was fabulous. I have never seen such a long processional of cars.
  • The outpouring of support from friends, family, blogging friends, and even some strangers through this site has been really uplifting. Like many have said, the memories will live on, and the events that I have since experienced have drawn me closer to those still alive around me. Thanks to everyone.
  • Who goes to a movie theatre and shoots someone? I have been to several theatres where people have been a bit loud and have wanted to ask them to quiet their commentary -- sometimes I have asked. But it has never gotten to the point where I would actually inflict bodily harm on them.
  • And I always thought that a woman had the right to say no to a man's advances -- even if that man is her husband. Going on to force yourself on a woman (or man) when they do not want to is called rape. But I guess Dennis Prager (and a lot of other men) feel that once a woman has said "I do" the husband can force her to have sex whenever. After all, how else would the man know that the woman loved her?
  • Another irksome thing is going to dinner with a large group of people. When this happens, there inevitably is one person who is a cheapo. The other night one chick had the nerve to only supply just the amount she owed for dinner without even taking into consideration that there were 10 of us, thus there was gratuity (and tax) included in the bill. She argued hard that she should not have to pay the alloted amount for gratuity and tax since her portion of the bill was not that large. Please. What was really crazy is that her friends were willing to let her do this and pull the slack for her. I did not know the woman prior to that night, so I didn't feel it was my place to step in and start asking questions. Fortunately she gave a little bit more, and was the first to leave. The others proceeded to explain that this is a regular occurrence with her -- which does not excuse her behavior, but it did explain it a bit more.
  • Despite the bill hoopla, the place was fabulous. The Chocolate Bar is pretty close to my house, but I had never been. But I will definitely hit it up again. I am not a big cheese person since I am severely lactose intolerant, but that cheese was awesome. Perhaps the French, Norwegian, and Swiss know how to do things with their cheese that helped it to not leave me cramping in pain. I don't know, but that stuff was great, as were the drinks.
  • Keeping it positive, although the winter solstice was just a few days ago, I am already noticing a significant improvement on the amount of light later into the evening. And I am loving it. Last night there was still a small hint of light after 5.
  • The day before Christmas I was finishing up some shopping for the family. I hate shopping malls and completely despise them when it is holiday time due to the super-crowding and the unruly people who act as though they have never been shopping before. I try to go just before close. This time it was actually a pleasant experience -- I was able to find things fast, the lines were not too long and I had two pleasant conversations.
    • The first was with a former student from my last school and her mother. She was saying how much she and others missed me and how the Replacement is just not cutting it. Even the mother said that my presence is missed. It was touching seeing the girl and hearing her mention people that missed me. They inquired about the new school. I told them that the admin is infinitely better suited for me but that I truly missed the camaraderie of the faculty and the more personable nature of the student body.
    • The second conversation was with the man who was ringing me out. He looked super tired. They had already announced that the store would be closing in five minutes and I was trying to make his time easier. I small talked. Told him what I do, told him I would not need any of the extra stuff many people ask for in their packaging, I was smiling and telling him how I wished him a good holiday. And when he handed me the bag he said a few little words that really touched me, "You have really made me feel good. Really. You have made me not upset with the day." The look on his face was truly genuine. And it wasn't some kind of perv thing. He just truly seemed to appreciate a nice, non-shopping-crazy person. That really touched me.
These are just a few of the little things in the past week and a half. There are more, there are always more, there will always be more.

It's always the little things that really mean a lot to people. This coming year, I want to be a person that provides those little moments to people -- in a positive way, of course. With laughter, a hug, a new thought, new knowledge, a shoulder, even just a smile -- whatever I can give that people I come across need.


  1. Seeing your father get emotional is unbearable. At least it is to me. I've only seen my father cry a few times. His mother's funeral was the worst.

    Being reminded you have such a wonderful support system at times like these is the best little thing, I think.

  2. It was truly unbearable. Each time I thought I was through with the big balling tears, I would get a glimpse of him and see him crying and that would bring it all back.

    But it is a wonderful thing, as you said to see the support system that we have.

    Thanks for the comment.


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