19 July 2008

My will and testament - though I just wanted to know the weather

I've been calling the local time and temp number more lately than usual due to coaching summer track. Sometimes its to check the weather before I head out so I know how to dress. Sometimes it is to find out a few days in advance if it is going to rain the day of a meet/practice. Sometimes it is during the meet because I am so hot and sweaty and gritty that I just have to know if that is going to be the day when I literally fuse to the bleachers or melt into the material of the track and meet my death.

Lately when I call it is not the ad for American Equity Mortgage with the guy with the super country voice telling me to call 839.99-99.

Instead there are different ads that start like this:
  • 80 people a year die from lightning strikes in the US...
  • Taking a weekend trip without the kids? Before you get in that car or on that plane...
  • Don so-and-so was struck by lighting twice. The second time was 27 years to the day after the first strike...
  • 70% of the people that die in thunderstorms are men. Ladies if it is raining outside and your man is not home...
Each ad ends with "You should stay safe inside and plan your estate online." Followed by the website address to the company.

I know that when you get married or when you have a child you are supposed to write a will, but this is some serious shock advertising. Especially when I just want to find out if there will be any respite from the heat.

It makes me want to write a will and I don't have many possessions to will to any one. I don't have a lot of money and I'm not like the idiots who didn't realize that their money was only insured up to 100,000 dollars American and had to rush to take it out. Two reasons I am different:
  1. I took government/economics freshman year of high school and Mr. H taught me well. I remember a lot of things from that class including information on the stock market, some various aspects of how the government works, and some random facts about some friends who signed up with me for that summer school class so we would have more room in our schedule for elective classes during the upcoming regular school year. I don't know why I remembered that monetary amount after all this time, perhaps because it was a goal to eventually have to divvy out my money into multiple banks because I would have multiple hundreds of thousands.
  2. I did not reach that goal. I don't have that kind of money. The digits that make up my savings account are quite measly right now.
But, even with my nothing, I feel I should rush to my lawyer boyfriend and have him work out a will for me. It will be a simple one.
  • My couch to Kid Sis #3 because I have already given one to #2.
  • My tv to Cassandra since she gave it to me in the first place.
  • PS2, DVDs (minus SATC, The Joy Luck Club, and Finding Nemo which would go to Sisters), video games, PC, printer, iPod, CDs to my man.
  • Apple computer and accessories to Kid Sis #1 and The Brother.
  • Books and backpacks to Kid Sis #2 for my nephew so he can be educated and worldly as well as some to various former students and colleagues.
  • Clothes to sisters first, whatever they don't want would go to my former students and some charities.
  • Pictures, sculptures, and artwork to the fam and the man.
  • Clarinet to whichever person I know who can pawn it for the most money.
  • And if there happen to be any Whole Fruit Popsicles in the freezer upon my death I will those to whichever family member or friend comes upon them first.
  • Money would go to pay for funeral expenses. Still not sure if I want to be cremated or not. Any left over (yeah right) would go toward paying off my current $270.99 in credit card debt and then on to some charity I would let my brother choose.
That's it.

Quite possibly one of the simplest wills ever.

Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.


  1. I call the popsicles!!!

  2. lighting does strike twice, saw nova once man had be struck 5 times

  3. Ya know, I bet your Blog-Will would hold up in court. I'm sure the catch is you'd need to die within a certain amount of time since it was published. I dunno; but maybe it's worth checking out.

  4. Jeannette -- Hopefully it lasts for a long time because I don't intend to die for a while.


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