08 July 2012

Pleasing others vs living my life

I have always liked making people happy - having people like me.

My parents are not excluded from this desire of mine.  Unfortunately, the desire to please them has led me to suffer a bit.

Four years ago, they called me up and told me that they had a rehabbed house that they were trying to sell that they would like me to live in until it was sold.  I jumped at the idea to live in a brand new house.  I also assumed (wrongly) that there would be no rent involved - that I would live there for free until they could sell the house.

The house looked nice on the first floor.  The basement was another story that I would grow to hate.  It looked like they had used the old foundation and built a new house on it.  The foundation was so bad that at some places on the floor, you could see the ground - dirt.

A few months after living in the house, the basement started to flood with every rain.  I had to pay to get a new sump pump and to have drains put into the perimeter of the entire basement.  I had to replace the washing machine that I had purchased.

Then the mold started to form on the basement walls.  Water seemed to be seeping in from the walls.  I tried to get rid of that.

Then there were the issues of the R.O.U.Ss that I feared scrounging throughout the yard.  There was grass cutting, tending the thorny rose bushes that my father had planted in the front.  There were silverfish that were likely coming in through the (literally) unfinished basement.  There was me having to have a separate pair of shoes to wear into the basement so I wouldn't carry the dust and dirt throughout the rest of the house.

There were four years of hating where I lived all so I could help the parents out.

Then finally the market was getting better.  At the start of this year, I finally decided that I had to make myself happy.  I also had to look out for my safety.  That house was not on solid ground and there was what looked like a sink hole gradually growing in the front yard.

I decided to move.  I told my parents.  They were not upset.

They were not even a little upset.  Why had I thought they would be super disappointed?

I started looking for a place.

At the end of March, they found someone to buy the house.

By the end of April, I was in a new place.  A place where I can walk and not hear the weak floor creaking; where I can jump and not worry that the floor will collapse me into the basement; where I can breathe clean, non moldy air; where I don't have to prick my fingers with thorn bushes; where I won't have to shovel snow.

Where I am at peace and not feeling challenged by my desire to please the parents and my growing desire to live my own life.

Sunday Stream of Consciousness is now hosted by Jana A. over at Jana's Thinking Place.  Thanks to her for picking this up.  I love using this for a brain dump and to just write some different things.

Today's prompt: Write about a time that you were challenged.

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  1. I think this is a wonderful look at how we continually want to please and not hurt our parents. I'm glad you've moved and feel better about it all!

  2. I think we all want to please our parents, and sometimes we go to extremes. Congrats for finding your peace and place!

  3. I'm so glad you moved. "Where I am at peace and not feeling challenged by my desire to please the parents and my growing desire to live my own life."

    I totally get the pleasing the parents thing because I try all the time too. I'm glad they were okay with it all!

    1. I'm glad, too. Though part of me kind of hoped they wouldn't be so that I would be forced to move to please me even without their thinking it was ok.

      But, it worked out.

  4. I am so glad you decided to make YOU happy and that you moved. It is important to Make US number #1 but so hard to follow so bravo lady bravo and thanks for sharing :))

    1. It is definitely hard to focus on making ourselves happy many times when other family and loved ones are involved.


  5. Good post! Of course, I would love almost anything that references The Princess Bride! : )

    1. Thanks! It's inconceivable that you got the reference! Just inconceivable.

      But - I do not think that word means what I think it means.

      I was shocked when three people at work had not seen the film. We hosted a viewing for them, but they said they did not like it - I was left dejected.


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