I know that people say that things happen for a reason, but what if nothing good seems to be happening from what I did yesterday? Should I still be satisfied? I don't think so.
I just want to do things better than I did yesterday.
I'm not sure if I can fully do the things I desire to do in order to be a better person. Can people really change? Can people really become different than they have shown habits of doing?
 |
| I wrote about this image in more detail on this post. |
I'm not completely sure of that anymore.
Even after a few months of trying to reset my life, I'm not sure if I can completely succeed.
I am smiling more, I am hating less, but I don't know if I have become better at accepting criticism. I am still not critical of myself enough and I am still likely to get defensive when someone points out negative aspects of my character.
I am a better listener, but if I am not fully putting things I have heard and need to do to improve myself, am I really, truly listening? Or am I just hearing and then ignoring or disregarding the ideas of how to make my life and others' lives better?
Because I still have room for improvement and still need to improve from how I was yesterday, I'm not sure if I can worry less right now. I'm not sure if I can feel good anyway about some aspects of my life, instead I am fearful that I will never fully develop and change and reach my full potential.
I know this is a bit vague, but I am just at a point of confusion and frustration in my life and I needed this mini-rant/mind fart.
I can certainly relate to that first line. I'm in the same boat on change. Obviously, people can change, but I'm not sure if wholesale change is possible. At a certain age, we are who we are. Minor, cosmetic changes are possible, and I suppose those can be significant. But I'm not sure we can change our personalities.
ReplyDeleteI think it may be true that after a certain age we can't make big changes to our personality... hopefully, it's not completely true.
Deletei believe people really can change. It's just that it's not very easy. But what is the point of life if we can really dig in and make ourselves better? It's uphill the whole way.
ReplyDeleteI hope so!! Hopefully the hills aren't too big!!
DeletePatience. That thing you did yesterday, the one that doesn't seem to be bearing fruit? It might pay off days, months, or years from now. You just never know.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kathy. I am trying to remain patient and steadfast in my drive for results and changes.
DeleteIt's never to late to make changes, but I've read that it takes at least 30 days of new behavior for it to stick. That requires a bit of focus, and sometimes that's the hard part.
ReplyDeleteI've heard of that 30 days pattern-changer, too. Thanks for the reminder! I need to keep that in mind and dedicate myself to thirty days of action and focus.
DeleteI choose to believe that people can change. I choose to believe that things could get better. I'm not sure what the point would be if they didn't. If things could never change, then I may as well let myself drown in a pool of dog hair. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I want to believe that, too. That is much better than drowning in a pool of dog hair - the image of that in my head is really something!
DeleteCongrats on finishing the A-Z Challenge!