18 November 2012

Comparing dancing, peanut butter cups, and boots

I find that I compare myself to no one at times, and almost everyone in other situations.

I started a Doonya Bollywood fitness class and am comparing myself to the other participants.  I know that I have only had three classes and some of them have been doing it for years, but I compare how well they know the dances and hate when I mess up and no one else appears to mess up.  I compare that I feel like I have stronger stamina and strength in my legs since I can sometimes lift them higher for longer than the others.

Some days, I am perfectly content with my items of clothing.  Other days, I compare them.  I just bought a white down coat and am now comparing other people with white coats to each other to see which ones are unclean looking and hoping that mine does not get that way.  I compare the boots others wear to mine.

This morning I went to the grocery store and found myself comparing what others had in their carts and baskets to what was in mine.  I was not buying much, and everything in my cart was healthy, and I almost felt superior for a moment.  I looked at a large container of peanut butter cups, picked it up to read it, then decided that I couldn't add that junk food to my healthy cart, because that wouldn't look right.

I am not always like this.  I don't know if it is the weekend, or if it is this new city, or what.

I do know that I do more people watching in NYC than I have ever been able to do.

Perhaps that makes me more aware that others may be watching me and comparing themselves to me, as well.

When I used to run back in StL in the parks or on the streets, I would compare my gait to others'.  Part of that was the coach in me wanting to help others run more efficiently, but part of it was hoping that they saw me as someone who ran well - that they would compare themselves to me.  I know that this summer when I ran, I still had good form, but couldn't run as far or as fast as I used to.  That made me somewhat self-conscious about my running, thinking others would be laughing at me in their heads as they saw me running.

I do seem to notice that I compare myself to others that I do not know more than people that I actually have relationships or am around a lot.  I don't compare myself to my coworkers because I know that I do what I have to do in the classroom - what is best for me and my students.  I don't compare myself to my siblings because we are each at different points in our lives.  (I admit that I did for awhile, but, I have come to understand that our lives are different.  Same with where I am compared to where my parents were when they were my age.)

Are any of you more apt to compare yourself with strangers than with known people?

Stream of Conscious Sunday post linked up with Jana's Thinking Place.  Five minutes of free writing on the topic Comparisons/Competitions.  You can link up, or read others' posts on her site.  It is a great way to release some thoughts from your head.  I hadn't even really thought about all the ways I compare and compete with others until this post... and some of the things just happened no more than an hour ago.

18 comments:

  1. Thankfully, that's one good thing about maturing. I've left so many of my comparing tendencies behind. When time gets shorter, you realize what a waste of time and energy it is. And I had a wise minister who once said, you think everybody is looking at you -- but they are more worried about everyone looking at themselves.

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    1. It is a great waste of time - I used to not do this as much. Perhaps it is NYC that makes me do it now.

      That was a very wise minister; that is such a true statement!

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  2. When I was younger I would compare myself to everyone, I had a very distorted view of myself (it was pretty unhealthy)...I wasn't tall enough, thin enough, smart enough, beautiful enough...I was never enough.

    I try not to compare myself to people now as I realise that it's each to their own...some people can dance, some people can sing, some people love to read, others love to paint...we are all different, and that is a beautiful thing.

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    1. Our differences really are what make people so beautiful. I often find beauty in the things people can do that I cannot do.

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  3. I have a tendency to compare myself with others regardless. It can help to keep me on my toes as long as I maintain balance and perspective.

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    1. I think healthy comparisons can definitely keep us on our toes - I didn't buy and scarf down a whole container of peanut butter cups because of my comparisons today. ;-)

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  4. I compare myself more with people I know than strangers. Frequently, I'll judge my success based on success of friends, classmates, or coworkers. It's a bad habit, but it happens anyway ><

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    1. It is so hard not to judge ourselves to people we know, especially in the Facebook, Instagram, etc age that we live in now. People tend to only show the good things on those sites, though.

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  5. I really try not to compare myself because I end up feeling badly about myself when I do. There's always somebody out there who is smarter, kinder, more giving, prettier, more adventurous, happier, more successful than me. Most of the time, I try to stay focused on what I'm doing, and I venture a comparison only to help myself grow. Did I mention it's difficult to do?? Have a great day!

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    1. There is always someone who seems to have it all, but their grass is not completely green, I'm sure.

      Staying focused on you is a great strategy, though, I agree, that it is difficult at times.

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  6. LOL to comparing the whites of coats. You are SO normal girl. LOL! I attended yoga for awhile and I really got discourage by how good everyone else was and I stopped going. I wish I hadn't. I do tend to compare more with people I don't even know. That is weird and I never thought of that until you posed the question.

    P.S. Glad you got a coat!

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    1. I tried to hold out on the coat. There were only 7 more days until I would be going to StL when I bought the coat, but I this wind here is really no joke!

      You should get back into yoga! Then you will have more strangers to compare yourself to. ;-)

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  7. What everyone esle said!
    Seriously, I think it's normal to compare and see how we measure against others. I often find myself slightly influenced by other's purchases and often berate myslef. I will get more healthy options at the market and have to admit I would have totally gotten those peanut butter cups.

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    1. I would have gotten the cups if they had been normal sized and if I wasn't already in the checkout line. They were super mini - almost chocolate chip sized, so I knew that would only lead to me eating a ton. Especially after I read that a serving size was 27 pieces...

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  8. I am an equal opportunity comparison maven. I can *always* find a reason someone - be it a stranger or family member - is better than me.

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    1. LOL! Glad you are equal with your comparisons!

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  9. I wonder if we compare ourselves to strangers because we fabricate their lives in our minds ... and then do we fall short or can we be superior - guess it depends on the day ;)

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    1. That sounds like it could be it. We think their lives must be a certain way based on what we see/hear.

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